Fake Digital Camera, Real Life

The camera I have is old and crappy, so I do not carry it around. Also, I do not exactly know where it is at the moment.

Here are the photos I would've taken today to show you, however:

A co-worker dressed in a suit with a drawn-on moustache, with a semi-filled dress hanging off her and a balloon attached to the dress (for a head); life-sized colour photocopies of Cloris Leachman stuck on the balloon. She was Dancing with the Stars! Awesome.

Two Asian guys in the elevator tonight dressed as giant Mah-Jong tiles (using boxes they decorated themselves).

Two seeing-eye golden retrievers curled up together like a big challa bread under the table at Tim Hortons.

Girl running out of cab into condo dressed as "sexy" (aka skanky) police officer in short shorts and thigh-high stockings; running, because in that space between the cab and the condo, she's not so much "costumed" as just "outside in lingerie"! (All those who are reading this with a guilty raise of the eyebrows can refrain from the comments section, thanks!)

I, like Benny Cooperman, usually go to my parents' house for Shabbat dinner, but today I stayed home.

While I have pushed (procrastinated) revisions on the first novel, I have been writing short stories and reading too many mysteries (pulp, really). (More on that in a future post.)

I've deconstructed a Spenser novel in the past few days, and tonight I ended up at Tim Horton's and broke my story. I thought I had already broken my story, but my last two ideas did not hold water. (Perhaps story-breaking is more a screen-writing term; I mean hammered out an outline. More or less.) I think this one's good, but I'll have to wait and see how it looks in the morning light. It's so sad when you go to bed a genius and wake up a hack.

I hope you had a tremendous Hallowe'en. I stupidly scheduled a dentist appointment for Monday. Who goes to have their teeth checked after a weekend of (day-after, on sale) candy?

Painting, Signed Print, Xerox, Ditto Sheet

Angelina Jolie at the 2004 Oscars in a white silk-satin halter Marc Bouwer dress.

Then Mila Kunis at the Max Payne premier. Look familiar?

But, wait, here's Ashley Tisdale - no hope in hell, but nice try.

Oh, hello, random wedding dress model.


*For those too young to know, more about ditto sheets here.

Partying with Survivors

New York Magazine's culture blog interviews Andrew Jacobs on his documentary, Four Seasons Lodge.

From the film's site:
Four Seasons Lodge captures the final season for a community of Holocaust survivors who come together each summer to celebrate their lives.

It's the 'final season' because the colony they've been going to every year has been sold.

It looks like a wonderful documentary that focuses on people who have built lives like phoenixes from the ashes, and who now spend the summers of their old age making the most of every minute.

*

The film's website also has an educational component, which notes that the film is an important part of an oral history - a tool favoured by educators since "the work of the Foxfire Team in the Appalachians".

I guess I never blogged it, but about a month ago I found the first volume of the Foxfire books for a $1 at my local used bookstore, and was fascinated by the oral histories. The full title is: The Foxfire Book: Hog Dressing, Log Cabin Building, Mountain Crafts and Foods, Planting by the Signs, Snake Lore, Hunting Tales, Faith Healing, Moonshining.

*
And Foxfire has nothing to do with Firefox, which I am now using exclusively, as I am fed up with Safari (1.3.2). Safari crashes every single time I use it and I can't upgrade without spending $130 on Leopard. Bah humbug!

Annual Pottery and Glass Sale - 2008

The Pottery and Glass Sale used to take place at the CBC building on Front Street. This year it's being held at the CNIB on Bayview.

I bought my parents a really great wall-hanging by Bruce Jones one year. It is made of tiny earthenware cups and saucers all bunched together, somewhat like the pieces that are on his website (but which look much much better in real life).

Even if you don't think you like ceramics or glass, you will undoubtedly find something beautiful and unique. The sale is also perfectly timed for the early Christmas shopper. I'm looking forward to seeing Miguel Deras Zapata's works, because I really like his textured/glazed acorn-like bowls. (Not this acorn, this kind.)

GOOP = Gwyneth's One and Only Peapod?

So remember the hullaballoo about Gwyneth Paltrow's "lifestyle" blog, "Goop"?

I just went to www.goop.com and it was the site for Chrysler's "neighborhoor electric vehicle", the Peapod. (A very cute smiley car perfect for those of us afraid of biking in the city.)

It took me while to figure out what was going on, but at least I did before I published this post.

The difference is in the www.

http://goop.com sans "w", as befits her politics, is Gwyneth's show-and-tell lifestyle site.

For a moment there, I thought Paltrow had created an elaborate ruse to bring people over to the electric car, but no, her site and her ambitions for it are real.

*
Addendum: GEM is now "Global Eco Mobility" which was Global Electric Motorcars. Seems like Chrysler has rebranded to launch the Peapod.

Ceramic Art

Julie Moon is a ceramic artist who make beautiful sculptures, tiles, and wearable pieces. Look!

Toronto in the Eyes of Others

Papermag writes up Toronto. A flattering article with some of the old standbys listed (Kensington, Riverdale Farm) and some I've never heard of - Magic Pony. (Check out Magic Pony's moustache necklace!)

Powerbook Power Adapter

From The Consumerist:

A class action Suit for faulty Powerbook power adaptors has been launched.

You mean, like the faulty one that I had replaced under Applecare? And the other two I've had to buy 'cause the other side constantly warps in the jack? It didn't even occur to me that this would be a class action suit. Interesting.

Stairway to the Moon post - Part Deux

From the Plastics Historical Society, here is a little more on Melaware :

The Gaydon and the Melaware two-colour sets probably represent the pinnacle of British melamine tableware. The technical skills required particularly for the twocolour cups were exceptional. The different approaches towards creating a comfortable and stylish cup or jug handle are especially impressive. Gaydon cups were made in a split mould giving a comfortable contoured handle whereas Melaware cups and jugs were made in a solid mould with angled moving cores to achieve the distinctive but less comfortable handle. In both cases the two-colour effect was produced in two stages and the items required individual hand finishing. The Gaydon set was the most comprehensive with over fifty different items. Perhaps the white lining of MF cups was eventually the cause of their downfall. A white inside looked more like china and it made the tea look `right'. But the white liner also showed up all the staining and scratches for which melamine ware became infamous.

Stairway to the Moon

I would like a Thrilling Adventure in Drinks.

Also, I just discovered a Prefab-ulous blog while googling Melaware. She blogs mostly about vintage design - with great finds from the UK and (currently, it seems) Canada.

I was googling Melaware, because last time I was at the Bayview Village Antique Fair I bought these exact Melaware melamine cups and saucers for 5 bucks. But now I learn that tea and coffee stain white melamine (which is part of the reason for its decline in popularity), so I am reluctant to actually use them. Hmph.

While looking for photos of Melaware, I found another awesome vintage design blog, What's Blogging My View.

And a question for bloggers - how do you go about showing photos without stealing bandwidth or infringing upon copyright? I mean, when you're using photos that aren't yours, like an eBay find - do you just use them and not worry about it or is there a way to do it that abides by bloggerly etiquette?

Nuit Blanche

I don't think I'll see much of Nuit Blanche, if I go out at all. I am behind on a lot of writing and other things.

You go and tell me all about it, ok?

Too Late - RIP Julia Cunningham

Is there anything worse than tracking down an author or artist you love, and finding (via google) that wow, they are still alive, they are living in the place you will soon be visiting, perhaps you can arrange a meeting... only to find out that no, in fact, they have died - and so recently?

I am very sad to discover that author Julia Cunningham died this past February. I am glad she lived to the age of ninety-two.
I wish I could've met her.

Over the years, I have searched for info on her, but never found much till now. Her books, which I devoured around the age of twelve, seemed to go out of print. I was never able to track any down in used bookstores in my neighbourhood.

Now, of course, Alibris is fully-fledged, and copies of her books abound. "Dorp Dead" was re-issued by Harper Collins in 2001, but I never saw it here.

I don't remember much about "Dorp Dead". It is now referred to as a turning point in children's literature; the beginning of "gritty realism" in writing for children and adolescents. I'm sure I read it, but it did not make as much of an impact on me as "Burnish Me Bright" and "Flight of the Sparrow".

The obit and remembrances on the link above (from the Santa Barbara Independent) are very moving. There is a very nice fund set up for donations to be made in her honour to:
(The) Storyteller Children’s Center in Santa Barbara(which)provides NAEYC-approved, tuition-free early childhood education and care for homeless and at-risk children... Funds will establish Miss Cunningham’s Corner – a reading area where parents and children can enjoy books together, complete with a rocking chair, soft pillows and special books arranged on Patrick's Bookshelf.

Her love of France (which one of the eulogies mentions) shines through in "Flight of the Sparrow" and is probably responsible for provoking my ongoing Francophilia. (It also contained one of my earliest nerd-girl lit-character crushes for the urchin "leader" - a cigarette-smoking Parisian delinquent named "Mago", if I remember correctly.)

If you pass by her books - used or reissued - have a read. You will not regret it.

I owe a belated thank you to Mrs. Ranieri, wherever you are, for introducing me to the writing of Julia Cunningham.

While Others Blog Political...

I blog Barbie!

How much you wanna bet that Christina Aguilera has had this Barbie on her shelf since 2004? Maybe Donatella gave it to her when she did the Versace campaign. (In that photo she wears the dress that the other Versace Barbie wears.)

Hairy, Puttering, and the Ordering of the Pizza

Certain members of my family have been eyeing my career (or lack thereof) with fear and pity since I embarked on this whole "Gee Whiz, I'm a Writerer!" thing.

The only thing that has changed is the question I get at family gatherings:

"You know that writers don't make any money, right?" became "So, are you going to be J.K. Rowling*?"

From the poorhouse to the penthouse with nary a word published!

In tribute to them, here is New York Mag's summary of Forbes' list of wealthiest authors. See that? Authors. It's plural!



*check out her official site, it's insane.

Esthetic Sensitivity Daisy Chain

The Graphic Bandit introduced me to the The Workroom, a "sew and craft by the hour space".

The Workroom's owner also keeps a blog called Make Something.

Make Something mentioned sassy printed fabrics designed by Heather Ross. At Heather Ross' site I also found her stationary designs and learned she sells a line of sleepwear under the label Munki Munki. Feel free to buy me the "Bird" silk pajamas and silk/cashmere wrap. Thanks.

Now I am slightly obsessed with thinking up projects (that I will never sew), for Heather Ross' delightful prints of horses and camper vans and "goldfish I have loved".

Also, I am lusting after these Nantaka Joy notebooks, but I must follow the instructions on this Trees with Knees wallet.

The wallet I discovered from the Nantaka Joy's blog.

Thank you, Graphic Bandit! You are the portal to all pretty, wonderful, and pretty wonderful things!

Honey Honey Cake Cake

It is 1:40am as I write, so I'll make this short and SWEET. I'll let you google all other Rosh Hashana info yourself. This blog post is hereby devoted to honey cake recipes:

Marcy Goldman's Moist and Majestic Honey Cake - the one I will probably get around to making with buckwheat honey - Smitten Kitchen bakes it here

Cookthink's recipe from 2007. She misses her grandma, I miss my aunt. Sigh.

Eat the Blog - adapted from a Ruth Sirkis recipe

Baroness Tapuzina's honey cake as adapted from The New Israeli Food cookbook

Bureka Boy posts two versions of honey cake and both look delicious

Adorable Honey Cake - made with honey wine! and Chocolate Fig Honey Cake (drool) both from the Food Network

One Honey of a Cake - from the Parve Baker

Bella's Honey Cake - with raisins and walnuts from Homemakers magazine (remember them?)

Lastly, a Honey Bundt cake from Recipezaar and here's a Magen David-shaped bundt pan to bake it in.

Shana Tova v'Metukah!


(If you're wondering about my free clip-art trend, it's 'cause my camera display is broken... but you can print up the clip-art and color it in! Free activities!)

Alice's Face: Part II

Tim Burton's Alice is a newcomer named Mia Wasikowska. She has an almost medieval or renaissance face - something about the placid eyes and nearly invisible eyebrows that reminds me of Boticelli's Primavera. She has, I think, a face people can project onto. It is somehow not self-defining.

I saw the photo of her from the back first and noticed that Burton had gone, again, with the curled blonde locks that he used for both Christina Ricci in Sleepy Hollow and Jayne Wisener in Sweeney Todd. When I saw the photo of her front, I got a non-impression. I can imagine that the casting department really didn't know "what they were looking for till they saw it". She's not cute, not beautiful, not ugly, not striking, not exactly pretty, but certainly not hard on the eyes - not this, not that - so what does her face say? What does it say to you?

I got the same impression, by the way, upon seeing the casting of Lyra from the film of The Golden Compass.

Maybe casting directors are afraid to "pin down" a face for a fictional character that might disappoint the book's fans, so they play it safe with faces that are somewhat on the mild side?

This is what drew my mind back to Istvan Szabo's comments on faces.

Perhaps Wasikowska, when projected on the screen, captivates in a way I can not yet anticipate. I admit I've never seen her act, so perhaps she fully becomes Alice. (Although, Alice, I will also admit, does not have much "depth"- she is essentialy a self-involved, curious, and precocious child.)

I don't know what Tim Burton's vision for Alice is: Wasikowska is 18, while Alice Liddell, the real Alice the book was written for, was 10 at the time it was written.

It will also be interesting to see who Burton casts as the Duchess and as the Red Queen.

Alice in Wonderland is scheduled for release in 2010 so you have time to read the book if you haven't yet. Here's a little bit more of it for you:

'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I only took the regular course.'

'What was that?' inquired Alice.

'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied; 'and then the different branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'

'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. 'What is it?'

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'

'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means—to—make—anything—prettier.'

'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you to learn?'

Alice's Face: Part I

Around 2004 I went to see a film by Istvan Szabo at Cinematheque and he spoke at the screening. He said something about how certain faces - not necessarily beautiful faces - captivate viewers when they are shown on screen. I'm paraphrasing from memory, but I think he wondered whether certain faces contained a universal appeal or if they had something that allowed a great number of people to project an emotion (or an ideal or a familiarity, or one's self) onto them.

I was surfing around IMDb and I discovered that Tim Burton is directing a live-action /CG 3D Alice in Wonderland.

I had mixed reactions. While I like Tim Burton's work a lot, I'm not convinced that Alice in Wonderland has ever succeeded in its transposition to the screen. Perhaps I'm a purist and can't let go of the original Tenniel illustrations. (I do not even think that any of the contemporary illustrators for Alice have done a memorable job.) Possibly, because I read The Annotated Alice, in which Martin Gardner delves into the mathematics and Victorian references behind the text. Mostly, I believe, because the joy of the book is not in the story, but in the telling of it - in the wordplay. How do you get this in a film:

"However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off."


I'm sure that Burton's Mad Tea Party will be sublime - especially as Johnny Depp will play the Mad Hatter - but there's something a bit predictable about it all. Tenniel's illustrations will come to life... with STRIPES! While Alice's Adventures in Wonderland can be quite dark, I wonder if Burton's "darkness" is the right...tone?

I started out talking about faces, didn't I?

So here's...

Spartans and Russets and Spys, Oh My!

It's been a weird summer in Toronto. Not much heat. But now that Autumn's here, we can get to the fun stuff: apple picking!

Chudleigh's has realized that to turn a profit, they must expand. They have a petting zoo and hay rides, and a shop for knick-knacks and apple-related food stuffs. They've had these things for a while. Unfortunately, they are now calling themselves an "Entertainment Farm". A terrible term, it impinges on my urbanite fantasy of escaping to the farm for a day. If you call it an Entertainment Farm, I expect you are growing tap dancers, or have violinists in trees waiting to serenade us as we pick. Or possibly, Guitar Hero in the barn - I don't know. (And I'm not even considering the lewd options there - I leave that to you.)

I supposed I should just be happy they didn't call it "Farmetainment".

My favourite apples-from-the-tree are Spartans. They are crisp and tart-sweet and divine and NOTHING like the mushy Macintoshy "Spartans" you get in the stores.

A note for those to whom I've promised apples: neither Fuji nor Russett are in season yet - sorry!

Take Back the (Girly Movie) Night

Last week I rented DVDs. They were all girly and lots of fun:

Eve and the Fire Horse - very cute memoir-ish film that looks at the intersection of two religions from a child's perspective
Being Julia - Annette Bening is wonderful, but the story itself doesn't quite stand the test of time
Marie Antoinette - eye candy
Miss Potter - lots of fun and very sweet, but I can't help but wonder if Emily Watson (who plays a supporting role) should've been cast as Beatrix Potter

So. I was going to return the DVDs tonight before midnight, as they are due. However, because there is a rapist on the loose in this city, my mother offered to pay my overdue fines if I promised not to return the movies tonight.
That is sad.

The quotes that are coming out of this news story are also sad.

On the radio I heard a police officer saying "she did everything right" about the victim. I guess he means that she was walking in a well-lit area in a non-sketchy part of town, but it's a bit like saying "we can't blame the victim in this case!". Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. And if she did fight back, that would be kind of good to hear too. Recovery from trauma differs when the victim is able to fight back (even if s/he is unsuccessful). The news story above has the police quoted as saying "He's the kind of person we need to catch" about the rapist. What the heck does that mean? In this case, I could use a little movie-speak: "We're gonna get this bastard" or "Forensics are working on it, and we'll get him, alive or dead".

Really, it's bad enough with both American and Canadian elections coming up. I don't want my police force to be mealy-mouthed too. Find him and put him away. And if you accidentally hit him with a cruiser... oops.

Is it technology or are you just a jerk?

Seeing as I now carry earplugs in my purse because hearing other people's music on the subway give me commuter rage, this Canadian documentary is right up my alley:

To Hell with Manners: The Decline of Civility

That link is to a CTV interview. There's the predictable bla-bla about technology disengaging people, but nothing particularly insightful. I assume the film itself is better.

Don't get me wrong in my snotty righteousness, I'm getting ruder too. It does take effort to be polite - especially when someone around you is not - still, I ought to behave the way I wish others would, I guess.

Thank you for reading.

Feel free to rant (cleanly) in the comments about rude people and their litter and their lung-collapsing bass car audio systems, and their spitting and urinating INSIDE elevators...

The Princess Bride Game

No really - I clicked on a banner ad (oh yes, I did) and found a Princess Bride Game.

The characters (except for Buttercup) are pretty true to the movie. I'm surprised that such a classic movie would get such low-key marketing approach.

I watched the little video about it and it looks okay. It's just that if you're going to take my favourite movie (female, 25-34), why not make a video game that would appeal to me - an atypical video game playing demographic? Why make it look like every other video game? The style (from what I hear, since I don't play), looks almost Super-Mario-ish.

Perhaps I'll try it and tell you what I think...

In the meantime, if you are someone who actually plays video games, please weigh in!

Sex and Marriage

"She says an unexpected benefit of daily sex was the kindness it required of the couple."

The quote above is from an interesting book review of two books by two (different) couples who have tried instituting a "daily sex" policy . Read it here. Various PhDs and sex therapists weigh in on the pros and cons.

And a slightly older book about a not-quite-daily-sex policy, "Kosher Sex" by Shmuely Boteach, here.




(Orchid photo from last year's Orchid Show at the Toronto Botanical Gardens, 'cause I'm subtle like that.)

Canadian Literary Magazines

In honour of the upcoming Word on the Street at Queen's Park and the International Festival of Authors at Harbourfront, here is a list of Canadian Literary Magazines and a link to a "writer's toolbox" (writing advice) from Geist magazine.

The Voice Fades

Don LaFontaine died on Monday, September 1st. He was much parodied, but a master of his craft. Rest in peace.

Things I Don't Understand (Part I)

1) Because you want to SMELL like a High School Musical

2) I'm not opposed to spaces or design or guys or books. I'm just opposed to the advocacy of egregiously poor taste defined as "for men".

3) Why is the poster for TIFF 08 so boring this year? Am I the only one who finds it boring? Maybe having crummy eyesight and occasional attentional difficulties does not make me the biggest fan of "blurry" as a design choice.

Donuts

Sometime around the year 2000, I worked on a children's show. The show was an adaptation of a popular series of children's books. Its main flaw (in my opinion, which no one asked for) was the casting of the Asian-Canadian character with a white red-headed kid. But my little story is not about poor casting choices on low budget Canadian TV. My story is about donuts.

I worked in the production office. Like any production that shoots on locations, we had location guys (or gals, but these were guys). The cars they used to scout and prep locations were rented. The rental guy came every Friday and dropped off an invoice. With the invoice, he brought a large box of donuts.

They were the best donuts I had ever tasted. I tried to memorize the address on the box, because one day, I said to myself, I would go out there and buy a dozen myself.

Eight years later (that is, today), my friend invites me to a movie at The Queensway - a theatre in Etobicoke. Suddenly, I remember that the Best Donuts EverTM were from Etobicoke! What was the address? Royal Oak? Royal York. But what was the name of the place?

I google. I find a list of bakeries and one stands out:

SanRemo Bakery

I know this is it. This must be THE donut place. I phone to make sure.

"Yup, that's us," the saleswoman says. "But we make our donuts once a day, and they sell out pretty fast. Do you want me to put some aside for you?"

So I go. I have a divine "mixed-berry" jelly donut. I had waited eight years for it, and it lived up to the memory. That's serious quality.

They opened the bakery in the '60s and it's still family-owned and operated. The donuts are only 80 cents each. You should go.

Reading & Writing

I'm taking a Fiction course through Gotham Writer's Workshop online classes. It's been a good kick in the pants and the homework has forced me to examine my writing in a healthy back-to-basics kind of way.

Maybe I'll post some bits of my homework later.

I'm also taking a Sketch Comedy course through Bad Dog Theatre. I took it more because the teacher (Rochelle Wilson) is an excellent teacher who observes well and critiques helpfully and fairly, rather than a burning desire to write sketch com, but despite my initial reservations ("why did i sign up for this? i have no time! etc."), I'm going to go ahead and see if I learn to write funny. Hm.

As for reading, the recent pile has been:

My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy by Andrea Askowitz
Eggs by Jerry Spinelli
The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark
What Was She Thinking? Notes on a Scandal by Zoe Heller
and stories by ZZ Packer and Tobias Wolff

On the Amazon wishlist, I keep looking at this funny book, Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog. It's about "diagramming sentences" - an old grammar-teaching tool I had never heard of.
It sounds like the kind of thing I would have loved learning at school.

I'm glad I've been writing more. I just wish I knew how to write and work and sleep at night.

L'Chaim!

This is turning out to be a three-wedding summer. Weddings are interesting social rituals, and generally of the more joyous and festive occasions, so I'm ok with that.

I know one couple who, last summer, had a NINE-wedding summer so I consider myself lucky. I get to enjoy myself at some lovey-dovey festivities and then I have the majority of weekends to myself.

In honour of all that, I am reading Marriage: A History (except with this cover). Author Stephanie Coontz examines marriages from earliest recorded history to now, and pulls from anthropology and sociology (and history) to examine the state of marriage now (around the world) and how we got here.

Scent Dinner

File under "I wish":
Scent Dinner with Chandler Burr and Context.

I must tip my hat to 1000 Fragrances, a blog by a perfume historian with a great name.

In Pursuit of the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

I watched Sweeney Todd (w/ Depp). I luuuurved it. I want to hear MORE! I google the Angela Lansbury version. I google the Patti Lupone version (there are two). I read about George Hearne and Michael Cerveris and Neil Patrick Harris and Len Cariou. I can't find a clear description of the various versions of the soundtrack cds or the production dvds.

Frustrated with Google, Amazon, iTunes, etc., I go to a real, live store!

I tell the cute guy at Grigorian how difficult it was to find the music online. (I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes.) He says, "Oh, one day, there will be no cd stores, and THEN--", he says ominously, "the online retailers will jack up their prices and you'll have no choice!"


Of course, Grigorian has an online store as well and yet... he frightened me.

Just 'cause the word "Gotham" is like, cool.

Links, 'cause I have nothing witty to say:

(1) Online writing courses with good reputations at the Gotham Writers' Workshop. I've signed up for Fiction I, i.e. "paying someone else to get oneself to write".

(2) The Weather Station played today at the street festival on Bloor. They managed to catch one's attention in the intense muggy heat and keep people standing there to listen - impressive.

(3) Really, listen to your Once soundtrack again. Hansard and Irglova (and The Frames) are amazing.

(4) New Emmylou Harris album coming out.

(5) A completely different Harris: Chris Van Allsburg's The Mysteries of Harris Burdick continues to be worked on as an off-off Broadway musical! Creator Joe Calaraco has a blog and here's Playbill's announcement.

Oh, and tonight was the start of Shavuot. The one holiday when I'm encouraged to stay up all night! You're supposed to stay up and study Torah and it's usually a lot of fun, but I forgot to take tomorrow off work. Well, I'm staying up unnecessarily anyhow - I should've just gone to synagogue!

So You Wanna Write a Musical?

As the Tragically Hip song says, "I can get behind anything".
Anything I read about or hear about or see, I want to try.

Delusional? Yes. A noted feature on the ADD spectrum? Yes.

A short list of things I've considered:

Choreograph a modern dance company
Entertain sick children as a clown
Go back to school for Neuroscience/Forest conservation/Zoology/Gemology
Design shoes/jewelry/acrylic furniture/wooden laptops
Be a hip rabbi
Lead walking tours of Rome

So, when I'm temporarily fixated on a musical, thoughts of "gee, wouldn't it be swell to write some little musical for the Fringe festival?" pop into my head. I googled "so you wanna write a musical" and I discovered:

How to Write a Musical by John Kenrick.

His writing is clear and the site is well-organized. I highly recommend it - all his advice relates to any creative endeavour. And the mind-boggling Broadway trivia entertains too!

Violins and Orchids

I have just been introduced to Samuel Barber's Op.14 Concerto for Violin. I want to own it. I go to iTunes. I browse around and decide on an album I like. It is this one. ITunes sells it for $9.99 CAD.

Then I pause and wonder if I shouldn't support my local classical music store. It's been there forever and I rarely buy anything there. I would be sad if it closed down. There it costs $15.98 CAD.

Then I think, is it fair to ask me to pay six more dollars because it's an actual CD that comes in a case? Or am I just paying for their rent in Yorkville? (But then, I'd be sad if they moved.)

Then I look a little further - just to find a good link to the album for this blog and find an even cheaper option. Sony-BMG sells the album for $7.95 USD (which at this time is still $7.95 CAD). Sony is the distributor of the RCA Victor Red Seal line. So, pass the middle men?

What to do? Which option benefits the artist? Which option benefits the environment? Which benefits my local economy?

I'm still undecided. Maybe I'll just request it from the local classical station and save myself the headache of trying to be conscientious.

*

Today was my parents' 48th wedding anniversary. That means my sister and I have two years to plan their 50th! (G-d willing, right?) Anyhow, I took them to the Southern Ontario Orchid Society Show at the Toronto Botanical Gardens. It was a judged show with hundreds of stunning orchid specimens on display. Eventually I'll post some photos. Then we went to LCBO 'cause my parents like to browse the wines, the beers, the everythings. They're not big drinkers, but they appreciate an occasional whistle-whetting. (Me too...) Finally we headed to the parental units house for bruschetta and champagne and then I left them alone.

Now someone on my floor is cooking something with fried onions and I'm ready to eat again...

Superbowl Sunday

I know.
You are wondering, what in heck do YOU know about football?
Nothing.
I was invited to a Superbowl Sunday dinner/ shindig tonight. My lovely friends (one half of whom is the chef behind Culinary Seductions) prepared ribs (which I don't eat but everyone else vacuumed up in apparent ecstacy), while everyone else attempted to teach me about football.

(I mean, I read some gossipy websites, so I knew who Tom Brady was, but let's face it, an over-pretty jock with a hot baby-mama AND a supermodel girlfriend? Not my cup of tea. Yeah, yeah, beggars and choosers, I know.)

I didn't manage to understand a lot of what I watched, but I was thrilled the Giants won AND I discovered Manning.

No, not Eli (wonderful though he was), Peyton.
So sedate and serious, well-heeled, sitting alone half in shadow, focusing all his good energy on his little brother (or so I imagined). What's not to love? So, of course I get home and look him up. (Is he heterosexual? Married? Lonely tonight?) And the article I find is one in Slate where his well-known status as a geeky dork is examined. Get it? From miles away, through television, in 4-second increments, I manage to hone in on the one NERD in football!!!

Dear lord, it is a GIFT I have. A veritable TALENT.

*

As for books... finished reading Three by Tey, a 3-book volume of Josephine Tey's work. Miss Pym Disposes, The Franchise Affair, and Brat Farrar all being masterful examples of characterization and setting.

*

Food discovery: Astro has new pack of yogurt flavours out including lemon meringue, caramel, vanilla and banana cream in the same box. The lemon meringue is awesome.

*
Ok. 1500 words before my head hits the pillow, so that's all for now...

Books I Have Not Read (or Books of Wives and Daughters)

The Time Traveler's Wife
The Pilot's Wife
The Kitchen God's Wife
The Zookeeper's Wife
The Mapmaker's Wife
The Senator's Wife
The Memory Keeper's Daughter
The Piano Man's Daughter
The Optimist's Daughter
The Bonesetter's Daughter
The Gravedigger's Daughter
The Florist's Daughter

If you have read them, could you please reveal some of the title characters' names in the comments?

I never made a decision not to read the above books. I was discussing books with a friend and noticed that I always confused the first two in my head. Then I had to assuage my curiosity and see how many other "wife" and "daughter" titles I recognized but never read.

I have however, read:
The Firework-Maker's Daughter (Philip Pullman picture book)
The Meaning of Wife (Anne Kingston essays on the "Wedding Industrial Complex")
The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat (Oliver Sacks, non-fiction)

If you do a search on Amazon, though, you find a lot of "The [adjective] Son", as opposed to "The [noun's] son. Do you think the current titling of [so and so]'s daughters is just a trend, a way to market a story as taking place in the past? Or is there an element of (misguided) nostalgia in the titles? Or am I reading too much into it?

Biscuits, Books, and Bookings

I got a job posting from the Temp Agency I'm with. It is a very well written job posting for a administrative sort of job with a non-profit organization.

Of course, they want someone who can self-motivate, prioritize, see things to completion. They want someone organized who can also organize others and plan events.

I'm sure such people exist. I am not one of them. I am lazy. I have often wished for telekinesis so that my coffee or tea could float to me when I forget the mug on the kitchen counter. I am disorganized (see drawer, socks; see papers, basket of). I do not prioritize well. I work on things I enjoy. Then I force myself to work on things I don't enjoy. And sometimes I wait too long and have to hustle to meet the deadline.

I would love to see a job posting like this:
"Creative, compassionate, intelligent person with good humour needed. Character, spine, and good morals required. Ability to delegate and motivate a plus. Ability to brew good coffee an asset. Organization will be done by others who are better at it than you. Ability to prioritize not necessary as your assistant will hand you numbered lists. Lying, scrupulousness, gossip and politics prohibited."

*

Went to visit my friend and her wee baby. By "wee" I mean "very big and round and adorable". I had bought the wee (giant) baby an ensemble from Janie and Jack in the States. They sell very cute things. She provided tea and delicious biscuits that she had whipped up from scratch before I arrived. (And took care of baby AND had the kitchen spotless by the time I arrived.) I'd been eyeing the uber-flakey biscuit recipe at Cooks's Illustrated, but Friend introduced me to Chef Michael Smith's clever frozen butter biscuits instead. Genius! Guess what I'll be baking from now till June?

*
Have been reading one Martha Grimes after another. Now I'm reading the books she mentions in her stories. To whit, "The Turn of the Screw and Daisy Miller" by Henry James. (I'm reading this version. I picked it up at a used bookstore in Kansas and my friend rightly noted that the font reads like 'Pink Panther' rather than 'Henry James'.) I'm also reading "Miss Pym Disposes" by Josephine Tey (in this edition. The book is three novels called "Three by Tey" and there's apparently another set called "Four, Five, and Six by Tey". So far, highly recommended, but I haven't finished it yet.
*
Got an idea for a story. One of those nice moments, when a story falls into your head, nearly fully formed. Until I write it down, I have the illusion of it being brilliant and publishable. Once I write it then I get to see the plot holes and general weaknesses. It's like an unchecked lottery ticket. As long as you don't check, you could be walking around with MILLIONS in your wallet!

Links I Receive

I just got back from Kansas yesterday. Kansas has many things. My sister, lots and lots of space, and the best onion rings in the Western hemisphere. I will post a pic of the rings tomorrow.

Today I got two links by email from two people who care about me.

I thought they made a funny juxtaposition. One can be taken as a reminder not to take oneself (one's self?) too seriously, the other is a good motivator.

Here's the "novel" bit from Family Guy.

And

Here's a new Nike ad.
You might have to search around a bit if it doesn't start right away. You can go to English, then USA. You'll find it.

Super Saver Shipping

My sister asked me to get her a book from Amazon.ca since it isn't available in the States yet. I ordered it, but I couldn't pass up on the "Super Saver Shipping". Just get your total up to $40 and shipping is free. Otherwise, you pay $6 or $10 for shipping, and thinking sadly of the book you could've bought. I decided to purchase the recent Robert Plant & Allison Krauss CD, Raising Sand. I don't buy music all that often, and I'm certainly not on the vanguard of musical taste, but this CD is incredible. It is atmospheric and coherent, and Plant and Krauss' voices blend beautifully. I really need to own more Allison Krauss albums - she has a truly angelic voice.

I also bought a Martha Grime's Book, I Am the Only Running Footman, but more about Grimes' series another time.

Here I am

Whether there's anyone reading or not is another matter!

If you are reading, then Happy New Year!

Not a ton of writing done since my last post. But I'm back on the wagon (the writing wagon, that is).

As for why I've been away... well, let's just skip right over that. Some people blog through thick and thin, whereas I do not.

Lately, I've been researching agents and editors again. Also working on a synopsis and query letters. Is my novel ready to send out? Not yet. But writing the synopsis is helping me fix the weak points.

Next deadline: Unknown.
How long should a revision take?

Brylcreem and Brooches on AMC

Just watched a promo (a "making of" ) on AMC for Mad Men - a series by Matthew Weiner.

It takes place in 1960 at a top New York ad agency and details the work and personal lives of the men and women that make up the company.

Of course, I'm completely in love with the idea of it. I was so glad to hear the confession by Weiner that he's a bit of a fetishist for the "look" - going so far as to make sure the fruit in the fruit bowls on set were the right size for the era. It looks perfect. I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt that it's good and complex and deep too. The promo did it's job - I am looking forward to watching the premiere episode.

My only concern is how they will manage to tell the stories without unintentionally condoning the reality. If, as they say, they are treating the sexism and racism of the time period accurately then the show might not actually provide a lot of roles for actors who are not white men. You see where I'm going? I don't want revisionism in drama, don't get me wrong. I'm just a wary of opting for a setting that might inadvertantly provide the same roles it did then to actors now - although I am sure the writers took this into consideration.

In one clip from the promo, the main ad man, Don Draper (Jon Hamm) talks to a black waiter in a restaurant. The white maitre d' comes by to make sure the waiter isn't being "too chatty" - and Dan, surprised, assures him they were just "having a conversation". Realistic and sympathetic - but the black actor (in 2007) is still playing a waiter. Granted, this is not the only role available to him anymore - and perhaps there is much more to his character and his storyline than I glimpsed. But it still gave me pause.

I guess Sopranos had similar issues. If you were an Italian actor, hurray. If not, please move on to the next show, thank you. But I don't think that should've prevented the Sopranos from getting made. And I wouldn't want to prevent Mad Men from reaching screens either. Like I said, I'm eagerly anticipating it and I certainly won't judge it till I've seen it.

It will be interesting to see what, if anything, emerges from Mad Men. Will it be popular? Will it instill a certain nostalgia in young white guys for a time that perhaps looks pretty swell from the outside? Will it influence women's fashions? (We've already been tilting towards belted waists and Spanx.) Will it push smoking back into vogue among a certain set? The repressed office atmosphere of the time - rampant with casual sexual harrassment - will be an interesting contrast to today's office equality with-a-broader-cultural-side-dish "raunch"*.

One scary thought - what if this is just Entourage (a show I can't watch more than 20 seconds of) set 47 years ago?

As you can see, for all my love of Nostalgic Americana, I have reservations about the actual conditions of the time. So now I wait till the show airs.

Anyone up for a premier night cocktail party? Suits and frocks required. Gimlets served.

Books, Books, and More Books

I went to Indigo's website and checked when the 2008 Writer's Market comes out and how much it will be.

Then I noticed at the bottom of the page, a little section called "May we also recommend?" based on, I presume, what I had clicked on.

This is what it said:

May we also recommend...

Dead Reckoning by Robert C. Brewer

and

UFOs - 7 Things You Should Know by Robert C. Brewer.

At first I thought this was some sort of omen (Publishing is deadly! You seem delusional!), but I soon realized that the compiler of "Writer's Market 2008" and the other books share the same name save one initial.

*

Ran into friend and former Starbucks regular, S., yesterday. She is a voracious reader and asked me what I'd been reading lately. I've been reading Agatha Christie. (So had she!) I read all the Poirots (I think) when I was quite young and now I'm old enough to appreciate Miss Marple. So far I've read:

Murder at the Vicarage - a very funny book, narrated by the Vicar of St. Mary Mead and the first Marple book
They Do it with Mirrors - takes place at the Serrocold home for delinquents that Christie set a few mysteries in
4:50 from Paddington - a murder witnessed as two trains pass in the afternoon

If I could, I'd read them all in Harper Collins' hardcover "facsimile editions" (click any of the above). They've re-issued some Marples and some Poirots with fantastic old covers. They're not cheap, but I did find one at a used bookstore recently.

I haven't watched any of the BBC series with Geraldine McEwan yet, but I hear it's very good. It airs on CBC and PBS too.

*

Also read:
Mobile Library: The Case of the Missing Books by Ian Sansom

Still reading:
Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer

To be read:
Enemies; A Love Story by Isaac Bashevis Singer

To write:
...oh...lots...

So, what are you reading?

*
Note: As for whether I purchase used/new books; today I made a decision. Books by dead authors (or out of print books) I can buy used. Books by living authors I'll buy new or borrow from the library. I think it will ease my conscience. I'll let you know.

Public Service Announcement

I needed a plumber.

I thought about it. I decided to check the website for that show, Holmes on Homes, 'cause Mike Holmes seems straight as an arrow, and if he recommended a plumber, hopefully they'd be honest. There is a list of contractors on the show's website, so I clicked plumbing on the scroll-down menu and contacted the first one on the page. The plumber (who is actually the guy that does the work on the show) came in today and he was FANTASTIC.

He was Mike Richter from DanMac Plumbing and Drain Services Ltd and he was super nice, smart, efficient, honest, friendly and very reasonable. I will definitely call him again if I ever need a plumber. They're based in Etobicoke, but I suspect they serve the entire GTA.

There you go. Isn't that the most useful information you've ever gleaned from this blog?

Style

Just bought Dan Ho's new book, "Rescue from Domestic Perfection". I'd never heard of him before. Apparently he's going to have his own show on the "Discovery Health Channel" - I hope that doesn't ruin him.

The book is wonderful. I feel like it reminds me of how I used to think about style. Somewhere along the way, I started feeling "if I had more money, everything would be prettier" - which is definitely not how I grew up. Even my parents got a bit caught up in the past decade with cooking shows incessantly showcasing gadgets and appliances.

Anyhow, Ho's philosophy is both old-school and refreshing. In terms of stuff, he asks you to evaluate what you own based on:
1. Singularity - is what you own original or someone else's idea of what's "stylish"?
2. Legacy - could you pass it on? would you want to? would anyone else want it?
3. Adaptability - do you have a kitchen gadget that does only one thing that you use once a year? (and... why?)
4. Value - not just cost, but "aggravation" value - is it worth it for you to grow your own tomatoes if you're just going to spend more energy and time and money fighting bugs? maybe you'd prefer to buy them from a farmer's market insetad?
5. Emotion - what is your emotional resonance to your belongings? did you inherit a weird china pattern from your grandma that you stash away? Ho suggests you use it and let it remind you of where you came from and who you love

I'm only half-way through the book, but I already feel somewhat liberated from both the insidious expectations set up by home & lifestyle magazines,and my own expectations. I'm reminded of why I have a blue and yellow and periwinkle and red apartment (yes, for real). And why I have a collection of "adopted" chairs and red mugs that match nothing. Beyond that, though, the book constantly reminds you that the point of it all is love and joy - as corny as that may sound. The point of having dishware is so you can eat on it, and enjoy doing so with family and friends. So simple, so obvious, but good to read nonetheless.

Summer in the City

Denis McGrath has a pretty good analysis of the Eckler/Apatow knockoff knock down on his blog, Dead Things On Sticks. Eckler's own missive at Maclean's is here.

The Toronto Fringe Festival is starting up soon. I plan on seeing James Gilpin's Bride of Sasquatch. Beatriz Yuste is a funny gorgeous woman, and I'm going to try and support her. Check out the "Bride of Sasquatch" facebook group or the Fringe program for more details.

The Worldwide Short Film Fest runs June 12-17. Time to start perusing programs.

Lastly, the Luminato festival is on in Toronto right now. The programs are so varied and each sounds so fantastic that reading the website makes me dizzy. There are both ticketed and free events spanning dance, music, literature, theatre, visual arts, and "celebrations". Tonight Lila Downs plays at Harbourfront (free), and the National Ballet has a live simulcast of their performance at the Elgin Theatre (free, but tix required). All in all, from what I've seen and heard from others, this is a festival worth keeping.

I almost forgot! Booked!, "a new reader's festival" is on now too! I've missed most of it, but there are still two days left, including A Tribute to Stephen King tomorrow at the John Bassett theatre.

Please comment on what you've seen or intend to see!

As for books, I've been on a bit of a nonfiction kick, reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. It is absolutely fascinating, and very worthwhile if you want to learn a little bit about your own subconscious. I've reserved his previous book, The Tipping Point from the library.

I also read Oliver Sacks' An Anthropologist on Mars. In the past year or two I have developed an intense fascination with neurology. Sacks deals with seven different cases in this book, which is a really interesting overview of several neurological disorders, including Tourette's and Autism. I found that when I was done, though, I wanted to research some of the cases in more depth on my own. I think I'll have to clear a whole shelf as I go through Sacks' books. Some good companions to 'Anthropologist' are Dr. Temple Grandin's own book , Animals in Translation, as well as the documentary and website of Dr. Duncan McKinlay, Life's a Twitch.

Right now I'm reading fiction again: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I'm only a third of the way through, but it's terrific. I wish I'd read it five years ago.

As for the writing, I've got 62 pages to go with the first draft revising. Not bad, but not great. There are two parts of the manuscript that desperately need surgery of some kind. I'm just not sure which kind. And if I amputate, will I have to write up a whole prosthetic to help the thing walk? What? You got a problem with my metaphors? Huh?

Ok, let me know what events you're attending. Or don't. Toronto's not that big, I'll probably see you there.

Insanity

Sound travels strangely in apartment buildings. I know this. I know that the hammering that feels like it is RIGHT behind my couch could be coming from anywhere in this building.

When I had full-time jobs that took me out of my apartment this wasn't a problem. There would be the odd tapping and banging, but nothing to get me irate. I invented a character to explain the various sounds away: the Carpenter Chihuahua.

Often, the tapping was light, and then there would ocassionally be the sound of a bell bouncing around on the floor - that is, my ceiling. For some reason, a chihuhua wielding a small hammer came to mind. Perhaps he built curio cabinets. Or mini race-tracks for his little cars. And obviously he had a collar that had a bell on it - which he did not wear, but rather, constantly pushed out of the way.

Now, however, I am home, and the incessant tapping, banging, hammering (not loud enough to really complain about, not long enough to tune out - just these short bursts) is making me CRAZY. It's beyond curio cabinets. He's obviously building wooden maquettes of the wonders of Europe. He probably on to Pisa now. Jerk.

And what do I do? Stalk each corridor till I locate the sound, then call security and say, "I know where the chihuahua is!"?

No, I'll just stay here, going crazier. Screw him. I'll teach my cat how to use a jig-saw and make metal sculptures so there will be grrrinding metal and screeeching metal all day long and then we'll see who's crazy.

Miracle Water

50 Cent share of Vitamin Water just went up.

When I saw everyone drinking those in L.A., I should've known, I should've known.

Oh well...

hat tip "haute gossip" via "hip candy"

Monday Morning

I usually keep this post apolitical, but there's nothing like silencing dissent old-school to leave a bad taste in your mouth after breakfast. (It wasn't just my attempt to add both strawberries and maple syrup to my oatmeal.) I'm not a fan of Chavez, in case you don't glean it from the link.

Belatedly, on a similar topic, blogger Sandmonkey has decided to shut down for his own safety while the State Security buzzards circle overhead. He added one more post after the one I link to wherein he describes his reasons in more detail.

Well, topics to research, articles to write, progress to make...

Procrastination

melodramatically swooning on chaise lounge, hand fluttering up to forehead

I haaaaate revising. I looooathe it.

I'm not really on a chaise. I'm at a cafe on Santa Monica called "Cafe Marco". Fun vibe, full of folks on laptops, free wi-fi. I've been sitting here revising for an hour.

I also eavesdropped on two men talking about parrots while waiting for my coffee.
I also ruined my iced coffee by putting Splenda in it. I keep trying to like Splenda, but it tastes dreadful.

I also found this article about opposums and their genetics at the Globe and Mail website.

Now I'm going back to revising. Really.
No, I'm lying. I'm going to add one more thing:
I also bought this skirt at Target the other day, and I'm wearing it now and I loooove it. I looove it as much as I haaaaate revising.

Ok, there. That's all. Poor pitiful woeful me will go back to her dreadful wretched revisions now. sniff

R.I.P. Isabella Blow

Sadly, the style-eccentric with the eye for impeccable talent, Isabella Blow died Monday May 7th. The Los Angeles Times obit is here and it seems to be (at a glance) less salacious than The Daily Mail from the U.K.

I was shocked to see Ms. Blow mentioned in the past tense - I'd only ever seen her in clips on fashion television shows, but she seemed like a force to be reckoned with. Apparently though, behind the panache she had suffered from ovarian cancer and depression.

I expect that Vogue, Tatler, and plenty of other fashion mags will write up tributes, and we might hear from Alexander McQueen and others whose careers she helped fledge.

I only knew of her through television, websites and magazines, but I'll miss her. Like Kevyn Aucoin, she made her mark in an industry that sometimes seems to favour gimmick over quality, by always honing in on quality. She was a muse, an icon, and a guard of high standards. I think I'll wear red lipstick tomorrow in her honour.

Slurpee Sadness

I went a-walkin' in Los Angeles today. I walked and walked to get my free comics at Meltdown the comic book store (not to be confused with Meltdown the grilled cheese emporium).

It was hot out and as I neared the 7-11, I thought, "I haven't had a Slurpee in years". So I went in. Imagine my horror when I discovered that
(a) the Coke flavour wasn't ready yet
(b) there was NO SPRITE flavour (?!), and
(c) all the other flavours were either revolting or trying to be healthy

Crystal Light Sugar-Free Raspberry Lemonade?
Tropical Orange Full Throttle Frozen Fury (with ginseng, taurine, caffeine, and guarana) - like a slushy Red Bull? What's a "tropical orange", anyway?

Anyhow, all the other flavours were unappealing, so I chose the raspberry lemonade, and it was vile. I threw it out at Wendy's, but kept the Spidey cup, and bought myself a Frosty instead.

The difference between American and Canadian slurpees are here: "...the Canadian product is heavier and wetter, the difference being that the American product is injected with air and is therefore drier. This is why you can feel that itch in the back of the throat when you drink it--that's the air bubbles. The American stores have been using Cornelius equipment where as in Canada we have been using Taylor for years . Although both machines perform for their specific markets, they do create different products".

That explains part of my revulsion. Remember when you could just mix Coke and Sprite and know exactly how it would taste?

Also, did you know that Winnipeg, Manitoba is the biggest consumer of Slurpees in North America? Someone's already making a documentary about it. I wouldn't have predicted Winnipeg. I guess Tim Horton's didn't open enough locations there or something.

Fly Sweater

Remember those Weight Watcher's Recipe Cards from Pound?

This is very similar, but in sweaters.
So painful, but so good - and it's spawned a 'send your own hideous sweater pic' site called The Sweater Guy.

Oh, I had some bad bad sweaters in previous decades... but luckily for you, I don't have photos of them. Synthetic yellow with silver threads, a fuzzy white one with a primary colours house scene (kindergarden teacher hott), and the "gee, I hope this makes me look feminine enough so that a boy looks twice at me" pink Cotton Ginny. I wore the pink Cotton Ginny monstrosity EVERY FRIDAY FOR A YEAR, so a certain boy in grade 8 in a particular class would notice me. It didn't work. Luckily.

Bloodletting

I'm sitting here, using ALL my ENERGY to write a new first chapter for the book. I've written 122 words and I hate each one.

I think, "Arrrgh, this is like bloodletting". Then it occurs to me that bloodletting is actually easier. In bloodletting, the leeches do all the work. In revisions you do all the work.

I say, bring on the leeches.

Too Much Information

If you know me at all, you probably know I'm a little bit obsessed with hair. Here are some places I've discovered on my travels that I thought I ought to share with the general public. Only read if you're as obsessed as I am.

HAIR or UN-HAIR

1) Gregory Parvatan cuts curly hair and knows what he's doing at Rapunzel in Toronto. I'm sure I've mentioned him before.

2) In Vancouver, Granville Street hosts clubs, bars, crepes, and Sugarbox. I didn't go there, but they seem to know what they're doing, and were very nice in returning my phone call.

3) WAX on Melrose in Los Angeles. Horrible horrible website, but beautiful salon (like stepping into a Wedgewood place setting), with extremely COMPETENT and well-mannered estheticians who do what they do VERY WELL. I HIGHLY recommend this place. They've been written up by Daily Candy and were featured in a funny article in L.A. Weekly.

One of my estheticians there said that she moved to L.A. from Oakland, where she worked at her parents' salon for ten years. She said, "When I moved to L.A., I worked at an eyebrow salon, where all I did was wax eyebrows. My mother couldn't believe I could make a living off of just eyebrows, but that's L.A.".

4) And speaking of specializing, there's also Queen Bee in L.A. They only do bikini and eyebrows. Again, I haven't been there, but they seem to talk about waxing like they take it seriously. And really, if you're going to pay someone to rip your hair out by the root, they better take it seriously!

There, that's my good deed for the day. You're welcome.

Live Longer, But Don't Sing Happy Birthday

I found this website called Unhappy Birthday.

It is a satirical rally for all of us to uphold the copyright of the song "Happy Birthday". It even suggests we pay ASCAP personally when we sing it, and tattle to Time Warner when others do. It's a funny idea - to drive both ASCAP and Time Warner crazy by deluging them with reports of copyright infringement every time people sing the song in a restaurant.

The most galling info on the site is here, though:

"While the copyright should have expired in 1991, copyright has been extended repeatedly over the last quarter of the twentieth century and the copyright for Happy Birthday is now not due to expire until at least 2030."

There are three links on the site that offer more on the history of the song.

If you want to think more about it, there's a wikipedia page for the Copyright Term Extension Act. And there's an article from two opposing views on BBC news page from 2004.

One of the arguments for copyright extension is that people live longer than they used to. Since copyright expires 50 years after the author's death, I'm not sure how this is supposed to matter.

Anyhow, isn't time we just open-source a NEW happy birthday song? Why do we need to sing a happy birthday ditty owned by Time Warner? There are different songs in other languages anyways. Let's just stop singing "Happy Birthday" in English, and let Time Warner hold on to a worthless ditty.

Heart and Club, Light and Sugar

"The moth flies at night in June and July and is attracted to light and sugar."

Subtitute my name for "moth". That could be my company - Industrial Light and Sugar.

The above is a random wiki find. I was searching "quinoa" which turned out to be a type of "goosefoot" which is eaten by the larvae of certain "lepidoptera".

Random + Nerdy = Joy!

This picture, below, is not the Heart and Club Moth, but it makes for a cooler picture! Good thing I don't publish the news. Learn more, if you're so inclined, at "Your guide to the moths of Great Britain and Ireland".

Spring in Vancouver

Sad parachuter,
Forlorn amidst sakura,
Fading with blossoms.

Spring at the Farm

It's neither winter nor spring here in T.O., but it's definitely spring over at Farmgirl Fare.

She has posted the cutest picture ever!

Jon Katz and his Donkeys

Over at Slate, I occasionally find myself following the story of Jon Katz's move to the farm, and subsequent acquisition of two donkeys.

His latest piece is The Donkey Who Couldn't Stand Up.

I like it. There's a link in the story to his earlier pieces too.

Go and read them. You'll feel better.

(And don't worry, the above clip-art was free.)

Show Me the Bunny

Don't ask me how I found this.

You know when you just need to see a picture of a bunny? No?
You back there - yeah you, trying to sneak out of the auditorium - you know what I'm talking about.

Just for you, here is a gallery that will show you random house rabbit photos. All you have to do is click "show me another photo".

That wasn't random enough for you?
Here's some more randomness:

(1) Here's a link from the Sugar Association regarding sweeteners on nutrional labelling and calling for more clarity:
Help them eschew obfuscation on food labels.

(2) Tom Ford finally buttoned up his darn shirt. Not that I like him any better for it, but thank the Lord for small mercies.

(3) A List of Things New Mac Owners Should Know.

Go to Kingston! See Fine Acting!

You don't get out enough.

So, make some plans with some friends, and drive out to Kingson and see some theatre.

Kingston Theatre presents Bernard Shaw's "Candida" at The Vogt Theatre. Buy tickets here or call 613-544-2021.

defacebook?

I got cornered into joining Facebook.
It's a weird tentacled social interface.

I'm not sure if it's worthwhile... yet.
I think if real face-time with somebody comes out of it, that'll be cool.

Facebook seems like yet another place for me to make social faux-pas.
When you try to quit Facebook, one of the reasons it lists - 'cause you have to tell them why you're quitting - is "Causing too much social drama in life".

Which begs the question, why bother?

Though somewhat aimless, it's kind of addictive too.
With a blog I get to babble on as much as I like, and you can either read or not, as you like.
Facebook is sort of a conversation, but it's mostly shallow conversation - like waving to a lot of people as you pass each other on the street. What do you think?

Anyhow, Fast Company is featuring Facebook and it's creator on their newsstand cover, and there are some blog posts by the author here. They ask, "how much money is Facebook worth?" while I ask, "how much of my time and energy is Facebook worth?" It doesn't have the nickname "crackbook" for nothing.

Lipids

So, I gained weight in Vancouver. Not that much, but enough to bother me. I haven't done anything about it yet. However, here at Stumptuous, is a jaw-dropping and eye-opening post which includes photos of cross-sections of a woman's thighs and hips. If that doesn't motivate me, nothing will. As a woman, I'm blessed with fat to spare, which is natural, but I just don't want the current extra helping.

Anyways, that'll be the last time I blog about weight. 'Cause pink blog + shoe posts + weight rants = a bit much even for me. It sounds like the Lifetime network around here.

hat tip Mich, of course.

Human Foosball!

From Squiddity, a link to a HUMAN FOOSBALL court.

This is genius! This is a game I could PLAY - no running around!

The only drawback is the little figures on the actual foosball table are usually in better shape. Or at least, better shape than I'm in!

Foosball, by the way, is table-top European football - aka soccer. It's fun even if you play really badly... not that I'd know anything about that.

You and Her and Everyone You Know

Miranda July, writer-director-actor of the 2005 buzz-collector Me and You and Everyone We Know has a joyously low-tech-style website up for her new book of short stories, "No One Belongs Here More Than You".

I really liked Ms. July's film, but even if you didn't, you should still check out her website. It's been the highpoint of my day.


Hat-tip: Ludickid

Question: If I upload a publicity image to my laptop and then post it here, is that still stealing bandwidth?

Need a husband? Like "Entourage"?

I hate "Entourage". I can't watch more than 15 seconds without frown-lines deepening all over my face. It makes me misanthropic, and by that, I don't mean loathing humanity, I mean it makes me hate men. But I digress.

Boy genius, Ryan has linked to the Economist's View blog which refers to a February 2007 National Geographic map of the distribution of single men and women in the U.S.

Ryan feels vindicated - he knew there was a shortage in L.A., he just couldn't prove it.

The b/f and I debated the meaning of this map. My initial reaction was, if all the guys are like those on Entourage, then the gals are likely to leave. Possible. His theory was that if all the Pretty Girls and Homecoming Queens move to L.A., they make the normal-looking girls crazy and they leave. Alternately, the description from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang fits too:

"I mean, it's literally like someone took America by the East Coast and *shook* it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on."

Ok, ok, I'm kidding. Mostly.

One other theory I had was entertainment & video games vs. publishing & fashion. I have no research, but if more men are in the former and women in the latter, then it might explain SOME of the distribution. I really don't know.

It's a lonely-looking map for heterosexuals, I'll say that much. Time to start the lame ice-breaker games. Somewhere in Kansas.

People with Arches - Pay Less!

I have flat feet. I can't wear those cute little Audrey Hepburn-esque ballet slippers. My feet look like two loaves of Italian bread if I do. However, you out there might have arches, and if so, check it out, yo. Payless is following the lead of H&M and "Tarzjay".




Payless" has hired some designer I've never heard of from some label I've never heard of, to design them some wicked shoes & bags!

There are some heels in the collection, yes.



But I've declared a moratorium. (Lavish gifts still accepted.)

So, no, I can't wear them, but maybe you can. And check out the cute li'l clutch too!

Of course, they're all man-made materials or fabric, so forget about your toes breathing. But, for a pair of cute slides and purse for under $40, it's not bad. Not bad at all... The only thing you need now is a friend with a yacht!

April Snow Brings... What Exactly?

My friend's last day in Vancouver looked like this:





Words do not suffice.

*
Now I'm back in Toronto. Again. Looking towards L.A. - again. Toronto is cold and windy and snowy and rainy. Not very nice, but still home. It has an energy, a pace, that will always feel comfortable.

*
Since my last post, I read The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Well worth the read.

More pics and reporting soon.

Bill Hartman on Pantone 16-720

So M@rla posted a comment at Maspik that linked to Bill Hartman with a really good summation of women's so-called fitness magazines. Mich (at Maspik) has blogged this topic before, but I like the way Mr. Hartman lays out the goods.

Not that I work out anyways, but y'know, I like to stay current.

running and ducking before some fit person hits me with a nerf bat