Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Childhood Fears

When we moved to Canada, I was in short order introduced to many new and strange and often wonderful things that I had not had as a pre-schooler in Israel. While I never felt that I lacked anything as a child, there were things my friends had that differed from what I had at home. New to me were the Easy-Bake Oven, boxes overflowing with Barbie clothes, an entire shelf of only Dr. Seuss books with matching book-ends, and lastly, the item that will continue to haunt me in my declining years, a Mini Pops record.

For those of you blissfully unaware of the words "Mini Pop" till now, Zoe Hart, a former Mini-Popper herself, explains the Mini Pops.

I don't know if we had the actual show here in Canada, but I do remember terrifying commercials for the records. A childhood friend had one of these records and I remember my discomfort listening to songs like this mutilated Abba Medley. Supe-per-Troop-pe-per. I think that's the exact record my friend had too. I wonder if that records explains my deep loathing for medleys.

Medleys are like Jell-O salads, aren't they? A bunch of things that are decent on their own, but really awful when forced together (i.e. lime jello, berries, cream, marshmallows).

Anyhow, if you hate child pageants, lipstick on underage girls, and songs by Alvin and the Chipmunks, Mini Pops will give you nightmares too. (That's why I thought the whole VF-Miley Cyrus brouhaha was so ridic; she'd been wearing heels and lipstick for way too long already and no one got all righteous about that.)

And if you think I'm employing hyperbole for dramatic effect, you obviously haven't checked the links yet. I really did have nightmares: a blonde 8-year-old Mini Popper threatened to "get me" if I spoke to her boyfriend. I was afraid. You'd have been too.

Ah, the eighties. Good times!


Natalie said...

For the record (ba-doom boom) I never had a Mini-Pops anything, and never got the phenomena. When I think about it, Mini-Pops was the prostitution of ideas like Tiny Talent Time and later, the more sophisticated version, Star Search. Now we have variations of Idol, and I guess that's what makes the whole thing even more bizarre: it was idolatry done severely wrong, or really, at all. The difference now is, people's fascination with stars don't turn them into celebrities as much anymore as they do moguls. And well, mini-moguls seem like an oxymoron; then, now, and I imagine later too.... (Apologies for tangent ending!)

JuliaMazal said...

Although, mini-moguls seems like an appropriate term for the people made famous from reality shows. That is, be famous, get gigs to host things, start clothing line, get spin-off show. Perhaps it's not so much becoming a mogul as becoming a brand.

I love tangents!